Kenny's Korner- Daddy-Do's

by Kenny Rader

What is a daddy-do?

A daddy-do is kind of like a honey-do, yet it's different. A honey-do requires the husband to fulfill the errands, chores, etc., that his wife asks him to do. Of course, if he refuses or fails to do them, he might pay some unpleasant consequences.  I think that is why some wives keep a doghouse available – for the husband's home away from home. 


A daddy-do is similar. It’s those seemingly little insignificant things that daddies should do yet sometimes fail to do with their children. But here's how they are different from the honey-dos.  No one requires him to do a daddy-do with his kids. They are much easier to let slip by. For example, if a honey-do job is to wash the car, and if Mr. Hubby doesn't get it done, he will likely hear about it the next time his wife wants to pick up her friends for a meeting at a restaurant. How embarrassing to drive a dirty car! If, however, the daddy-do job is to play a game with his 3–4-year-old son or daughter, but he comes home late from work, and he's too tired, that daddy-do often slips away – or does it?

Are daddy-dos important?

At the time, they may not seem to matter if daddy neglects to play with his children, but his kids take notice of the slight. Yes, a slightSlights are tiny and seemingly insignificant neglect of the children. Our wives notice if we slight them. OH BOY, DO THEY NOTICE!!! See, if we slightly neglect our wives, they don't consider it a slight. They consider it a major incident. Why? Because it IS a major incident. Yet, we sometimes (or maybe often) try to get away with a slight of our kids. We say, "Oh, they understand." Or we say, "They’re young. They'll get over it." But do they?

Kids have memories too

Medical and social sciences are telling us the vital importance of those early years of raising children. Why do you think the government is so anxious to get their hands on the education of our little ones? Now, I'm not trying to be a conspiracy theorist, but those very young years of our children and grandchildren are vitally important. Their brains are the most moldable in those young years, and their minds are like sponges, absorbing everything, both good and bad. So, every time we slip up and make a slight, our kids take notice, and we impress that moment in their minds.  

The biblical view

The NIV Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:4,


Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.


In its purest definition, exasperation means that we are not to infuriate or frustrate our kids. But if we slight them repeatedly, don’t we damage their little minds with the disappointment that they are not important to us? Let's get this straight; our children want to be with us. They want our time. They adore us. That is, they adore us unless we damage that adoration. 


Let’s go to the New Testament. What is Jesus’ view of children? In Matthew 19:13-14, people brought their children to Jesus so He could bless them, but His disciples thought their Master was too important for such a trivial moment. Jesus disagreed with His disciples’ actions. Rather, He took the side of the parents and their children.


14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

Matthew 19:14 (NIV)


Jesus valued the little children.  

Valued – that’s a great word

Jesus valued the children, but if we daddies and grandfathers have a daddy-do opportunity and miss it, or disregard it, doesn’t that tell our children that we do not value them? Our kids, grandkids, and actually, any kids are tremendously valuable. They are priceless. So, shouldn’t we treat them as such?


Now, no one is saying that you are a bad father or grandfather, but we know they’re out there, and we might even know one. And damaging our children’s minds goes both ways. We’ve emphasized the mistake of slighting children, but we've likely seen fathers that have placed such a high value on their children that they’ve spoiled them. Giving children everything they want and giving them all our attention is not healthy either. Then the kids become conceited and think the world revolves around them, and they are shocked when they get out into the real world. Balance - balance is a great word. We must balance our time, money, and efforts in raising kids.  

Let’s be careful

Most dads do a great job of being involved with their kids, yet our jobs, obligations, distractions, and adult activities can distract us. The problem arises when young fathers are trying to establish a career, and he has little ones at home that need his attention. Let's remember that we need to do our best not to slight our kids. If we cannot keep our promise to do something with them (we cannot avoid that sometimes), let's try our best to explain what happened and make certain we make it up to them as quickly as possible.

It’s not too late

Maybe you are the dad that slighted his children, and now they are teenagers. That's a challenging situation because teenagers have a world of social issues they have to deal with. Try your best to make amends and pray to God for His guidance. Did I mention prayer? Yes, pray – a lot. Oh, and exert the most patience you can muster up.


Maybe your kids are now adults. Can you still make it up to them? Sure. It might be difficult, but not as tricky as those teenage years - but try. Make an effort, plus, here again, be patient. Think of all the years and how all those slights have added up. It’s likely going to take time to mend those relationships, but as long as we have breath, we have hope. It’s only too late if you don’t try. 


So, let’s head the problem off. Let’s not have to mend relationships with our kids. If you have young children, young grandchildren, or young great-grandchildren, you have the opportunity of a lifetime to impress the image of our heavenly Father on them. Remember that what they see of you, they will likely have that same image of their Father in heaven. Let's give them a good impression of Him.


Happy Father's Day both to dads and dad-like dads.


Love you & God Bless,