Ask yourself the question. “What if everyone was like me?” What would that be like? Are you a generous person? A compassionate person? Maybe you're forgiving, loving, or an incredibly joyful person. If so, you likely have all kinds of glorious visions of how everyone in the world could be like you. What a dream come true! But what if everyone was like you? What characteristics do you have, or even cherish, that might become a nightmare?

We become accustomed to our surroundings. When visitors come to church, what do they see? They see things we have become familiar with: a dent in the wall, clutter in the corner, and the need for fresh paint on the ceiling. We, who attend weekly, don't see these things anymore. Some didn't see the need for the new paint and flooring at the church, but those improvements needed to occur. It’s the same with our homes. We might have become so used to a mess or a needed repair that we no longer notice it. We don’t see it, but others do.

When my dad passed away in 1985, Mom wanted to sell the farm. She began telling how great of a home it was. She was correct. It was a great home, but then we started looking at the house and outbuildings through a buyer's eyes. We saw windows that needed replacing. Areas that required touched up with paint and carpets that were aging. We began seeing flaws when we examined the house from other people's perspectives.

When we examine ourselves as a prospective buyer eyes a house, we begin seeing flaws that we otherwise miss. We've become so accustomed to our bad habits, things we say, possible racial slurs, unkind remarks, rude things we do, and a plethora of other things, we fail to see who we really are. It’s time we take a deeper look – at ourselves.

While each of us has good qualities, we also have flaws. No one is perfect, and the Bible warns us about the one who looks at himself too highly.

²¹ Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes

      and clever in their own sight.

- Isaiah 5:21

Sadly, while we don’t want to admit it, this verse describes many of us. If we each take a deeper look at ourselves, we’ll see the blemishes each of us have buried deep within us. We've become so comfortable with them that we no longer recognize our flaws. But here’s the thing, they’re as awkwardly evident to others as a snowman in a one-hundred-degree desert. Plus, if everyone were like us with our blemishes, we would see the need to correct our ways.  

Most of us are experts at seeing other people’s flaws. Their problematic characteristics are apparent to us, yet our own mistakes are hidden – to ourselves. They are hidden because we have repeated them so often that we can no longer see them, even though they might highly irritate others. 

Have you ever looked for a lost item in your house and couldn’t find it? Yet, the next day you saw it lying in plain sight. It was there all the time, right in front of your eyes, but your mind failed to recognize what your eyes were seeing. That’s how we miss recognizing our flaws. Even though our bad habits and irritating personalities are in the open for everyone (including ourselves) to see, our minds fail to perceive them. Therefore, we must take a deep look inwardly.

What's the best way to recognize your behavior that irritates others? Ask them, but asking is difficult. Why?  Because we do not like criticism and hearing about our destructive behaviors, even when we ask, is like hearing criticism. It hurts. But we must listen closely and bear the weight others reveal to us. 

But what if you disagree with what they tell you? In that case, listen closely to what they are saying. You might think what you say is cute, but not to others. 

For example, in farming full-time, it's essential to understand the trends of crop prices. It's called marketing knowledge in knowing annual and seasonal trends. Twenty years ago, our local co-op recorded the closing commodity prices at the end of each day on their phone answering service. After the co-op closed each day, we could call and get the closing market prices. One day, they hired a new employee, and it was his job to record the prices on the voice machine. He started each day's recording with a very friendly goooooooooood evening. But something was irritating about how he said it, plus it was the same drawn out goooooooooood every single business day of the year. Listening to that extra 4-second extension to his good evening became highly annoying. We simply wanted the prices and to get off the phone. He thought it was friendly, but many of us saw it as irritating. 

You might think your actions are endearing and friendly, but others may not. The best way to find out is to ask – if you’re bold enough. Plus, the other person must have the boldness and politeness to answer honestly. And when the other person answers, let’s listen – intently.  

Breaking a bad habit is difficult, especially if we think it’s cute or haven't recognized that we have that habit. But if someone has made an effort to tell us of it, then it’s bad enough to warrant both our attention and time to change it. But don’t expect to change overnight. 

Habits die slowly. We have ingrained them into our personalities over many years, even decades, and it will likely take several years to remove them. Change does not come easily, even when we try to change.  

So, think again. Do you really want everyone to be like you? In many ways, that might be good, but not with our weaknesses. Bad habits and irritating characteristics often stand out to others and annoy them, like fingernails on a chalkboard. If everyone were like us, and each of us had the chance to see our irritating characteristics, we’d likely see the changes we need to make.

Sadly, the bottom line is that many who read this article will pass it off as soon as they’re finished. Nothing will change. But is that what God wants of us? No. It is our responsibility to God to become more like His Son. Jesus did not come only to save us from our sins by dying on the cross; He came to show us how to live – how to improve ourselves in looking like Him. Let’s take this to heart. Let’s try our best to become the best child of God possible. Change is not a one-and-done. Instead, it’s a life-long process. It never ends.  So, take this article to heart and never stop trying to improve and become more like Jesus.

Love you

Kenny