I have never been good at keeping up with my friends. I can count on two hands all the friends I still keep in contact with between high school and all the years I spent in college. It’s not that I don’t care about people, but life just gets in the way sometimes, as I’m sure you can attest to. But I have found that the friendships I have kept are very close. We share prayer requests and needs. We share our concerns and our joys. They are friendships that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I think we all have friendships like that, or at least I hope so. I don’t know what life would be like without them. I recently got a phone call from my best friend, who lives in Iowa with his wife and 2 sons, asking for advice for his job. It was a simple topic, but it turned into an hour long conversation as we caught up with each other because it had been since last year that we saw each other. I told him about my house. He told me about his work situation and his family. It was great to talk to him. I can honestly say that I wouldn’t be here today if it weren’t for his friendship when we were in junior high. He got me through a lot of rough times in my life. And while he gave me a hard time on occasion, as any good friend does, I never questioned his loyalty. I never wondered if he really liked me or not, and that is a great feeling. I think that is the trademark of a good friend. And from junior high on, we were always there for each other. We went to community college together, majoring in the same thing. When he got married, he and his wife were living in Arkansas where she was going to school. After that, they moved to the same town I was in while I went to Illinois State University. Through all the transitions and moves and changes in our lives, we have never been too busy to keep up with one another. It is always a priority for me that when I go home I take time away to go visit him and his family. I can’t wait to see how our friendship continues to grow in the years to come, but it is certainly a friendship I value more than most.
Now, I don’t tell you this just to brag about my best friend. There is a point. As Kenny and I have announced the last few weeks, we are trying to get small groups started for the fall. I know Kenny’s has been going fairly strong through the summer while mine took a break because I had a really busy summer. I’m hoping to have it started back up soon. Both Kenny and my small groups are very small. Just a few people. There are a lot of pros to that. I can’t speak for Kenny’s small group, but my small group has grown incredibly close. We are basically our own family, for all intents and purposes. We share meals together. We help each other with our own issues. We take time each week to discuss what problems we are going through. As much as I love being the youth pastor here and how much I love youth group and teaching young adults as they continue to mature into men and women, I almost enjoy my small group more because of how real and honest we get with each other. We don’t have to pretend to be something we aren’t. It is a true, authentic community. That is why Kenny and I want more small groups. Done right, you will grow so close to those in your small group that you become your own little family that you would do anything for. I have heard stories about church small groups taking care of their members before even the pastor knows what is going on, be it financial struggles, medical problems, or whatever else. Authentic community is admittedly difficult to attain, but it is so worth it in the long run, and it’s something that is discussed plenty in the New Testament when talking about the church.
I think my favorite is Acts 2:44-47, which says, “All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” While this is talking about the church as a whole, it does mention breaking bread in their homes. House churches were the norm in the first century, mainly because Christianity was illegal at the time. They had to keep it somewhat secret. Those Christians spent a lot of time together, growing in community with each other. This is the opportunity you have in being in or leading a small group and I don’t want you to miss it.
As I close out this article, I understand why you may be hesitant. If you are hesitant to lead, let me try to reassure you. It doesn’t take a great deal of work. Find a book that you can all read and discuss it each week. It doesn’t have to be a deep study, but one that all the members can connect with. If you are hesitant to be a part of one, I’m sure there are several reasons why that could be. But I have found that when I have fear or anxiety about doing something new, it all goes away when I jump in. I guarantee you that being a part of a small group with fellow Christians will bring you more peace and joy that I think a lot of people could use right now.
